Heyer Capital, LLC

investment management and timely advice from a local CPA (Fox Valley, Wisc.)

Archive for August 2009

be careful what you ask retired people

leave a comment »

“Yesterday I was at my favorite local supermarket buying a large bag of dog chow for my loyal pet, Biscuit, the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line when woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

“What did she think I had, an elephant?

“Well, since I’m retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn’t have a dog, I was starting the Dog Chow Diet again. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with chow nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again.

“I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I’d lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

“(I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)

“Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me.

“I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter’s butt and a car hit us both.”

h/t:  Backwoods Home Magazine


Written by heyercapital

August 28, 2009 at 2:28 pm

Posted in Uncategorized


leave a comment »

Retail sales fell last month, despite the “cash for clunkers” taxpayer transfer to the auto companies.  As it turns out — don’t tell Washington this and burst their bubble — but when poor people (that drive old cars) sign up for a boatload of consumer debt on a rapidly depreciating new clunker and a new monthly payment, they don’t actually run to the mall right away to spend like mad.

Austerity is the new ‘in.’  But now that Congress has shifted the demand curve back to present, expect a vacuum-collapse in auto sales now that the layer of demand is instantly removed.

Before they get too far with the “cash for house clunkers” program, recall that something like 30% of Americans would sell their house if they could get a good price.  That’s a heck of a price overhang and pending supply.  Do the world a favor and laugh out loud whenever someone on the TV or in polite company says, “Housing prices are coming back.”

Written by heyercapital

August 13, 2009 at 7:32 pm